i sneak by the mirror,
my watermelon belly
is bigger than my butt.
i’ll crawl into the tub,
where my knees won’t bend,
and the water ain’t hot,
and the maid will come in,
scrub my stiff back
and abandon my boner.
who’ll dry my toes?
and splash on aqua velva
where i like to be kissed.
i’ll pop one or two or three,
wash it down with a cold one,
hit a few more tokes,
and fuck something,
pay ‘em with a poem,
and put their name in the title
so they think they’re special.
i can change the words
after i forget their face.
nothings good on tv,
i’m going for a burger,
cause i don’t dance anymore.
