zafu

i sat in one place long enough
the sun finally got to me. the
crack in the curtains had to be
just right. perfect branches of
the tree slightly bent in a breeze.
i sat watching my shadow
grow. i was pierced by rays that
left no scars. a flame shinned
within me. a voyeur was speaking
in my weakened ears. i heard more
than i wanted to. i kept my eyes half
closed. the light was too intense. i
saw things i never wanted to see. my
shame was erased. murder and love
kissed. the faceless tangled their
tongues on meaningless words of
common conversation. i walked a
thousand miles to nowhere and back
again. i bathed in a river of heat. i was
a wanted man, guilty of nothing. the
moon will pass and take me to a
different place tonight. i will
accidently see shimmering stars.
all of it because of absolutely nothing.


sitting on a telephone wire

if i had wings, i would join
crows in the corn, be a blue
jay at war with cooper’s hawk,
sing a chant with black-capped
chickadees. i will learn the secrets
of the thunderbirds. an epiphany
of lightning leading my way. i will
seek liberation from the chains
of the sky. i will feast in the rain,
as ruby throated hummingbirds
hide. i will drain the vocabulary from
my brain. the spirit of the sparrow
will rest in my heart. my name will
mean less to angels than the tibetan
bunting. i will not fear the badger,
the weasel, the fox, or the owl. i have
abandoned my nest for now.


Authors Books & Music Open Read 5/05/2015


act one

it started with lou reed, lots

of liquor, and weed. i knelt

at the altar of a thousand

white crosses. iggy pop and

the clash were always in the

mix. the enemy would arrive

in an hour or two. the next

morning we’d be fishing in

mud puddles. rolling naked

in the cattails of carter lake.

no second guessing this fate

of biblical bliss. we didn’t fear

the stage or the dancers. we

were content being april fools.

mavericks among men. he was

the ambiguous beauty of the

dandelion. fully and completely

awakened. we crashed into drag

queens. slammed in basements

of 33rd and california street. he

took off my red shoes, pulled my

green pants down. the

unmitigated conception of the

tangled comfort of arms and

legs. our jumping bean hearts

were satisfied. someday we’d

crawl through the dessert and

then to the sea.


i am invisible

is it more frequent remembering

who i am, or who i was? i am a

voyeur of myself. in the mirror he

stands naked. i’ve watched his cock

proud and his balls bleeding. i forget

if i comb my hair to the right, or to

the left. i’ve watched him sleeping

with crows. i dream of his one night

stands of mercy. my palms are

blistered from his love. his voodoo

heart beats inside me. rattles me

with petrified bones and protects me

with bullet proof thunder. he has

taken my tongue and twisted my

words. i have denied christ a

thousand times. juiced my veins with

his blood. i violate myself with violent

concern. i’m his bridge over holy

water, flowing like a drunken fool. he

allows me to burn and free to sail in

fields of amber. he rides wild horses

across the sky. i chase him through

the clouds. he is privileged to my

birthright. my shallow eyes. my

long-winded blather. my inconsistent

brilliance. i will love him tomorrow

and hate him more than yesterday.


life in the day of kissing

we’re always kissing.

we share a kiss first thing in the morning.

followed by a “good morning,”

even if it isn’t.

brushing my teeth

he comes in

and shakes my dick a couple times.

kisses my cheek and returns

to his oatmeal.

he comes back,

pisses with an evil grin and

flushes. he likes watching me

dance in the shower from

electric shock of scalding water

turning freezing cold.

i scream, “you son of a bitch!”

he peeks in and apologizes with a kiss.

i know he’s not sorry.

in the kitchen the dogs line up

to kiss me. each earns their biscuit,

and a scratching behind their ears.

i kiss my love goodbye and leave for work.

ten miles from home i can’t remember if we kissed goodbye.

he texts me we did.

i have a satisfied mind for the day.

driving home all i can think of is my tired bones,

mindlessly singing with dylan on blown speakers.

he greets me at the door with a kiss.

he says, “you hungry”

i’m starving. it smells great.

i kiss him for making my favorite.

hamburgers and french fries.

afterward he kisses me, rubs my belly,

“you get enough?”

i’m stuffed. i love his hamburgers.

and kiss him.

wednesday night is our favorite tv night.

we never miss wednesday tv night.

we record it because we always end up making out.

putting our tongues in each other’s holes.

finishing in each other’s pants.

i get ready for bed by going to the bedroom

to turn on the electric blanket.

we’re already naked. we sleep naked.

our kiss goodnight is always the same.

it has to be, that is the rule.

we kiss, we touch the tips of our tongues.

he kisses my third eye. i kiss his.

at the same time we say, “i love you.”

we have no need to dream.


equinox

i cannot ignore

this fog, heavy

as steel. eating

the trees. hiding

the sky. it abuses

my early morning

sun. scarlet tanagers

have lost their

voice. this ghost

confuses my

mongrels. their

highland tainted

grey. will my

heartbeat find

his way? will

his marrow heal

my dazzled eyes?

he’s the genesis

of my vigor. i

will not deny

his rain. my

retention of

the sonoran

is replaced

with floods

of adam’s ale.

i have

acclimated to

this season.

i mean no

disrespect to the

imprisonment

of winter, the

idle ways of

summer, or the

consequences

of the harvest.

i am happy

to breathe

this air, to

wait on this

weeping nebula,

to feed the

desolate embryos

of my beast.


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