Angry, deluded, defiant, poisonous, self-rightous, incoherent, ranting

I enroll students in college for a living. I like my job a lot. It is part of my job to make sure students get off to a good start and help ease their anxiety about going back to school. Most of our students are people that graduated from high school or got their GED, got married, started a family, and now want to do something different in their life. I help students from all walks of life, from a pole dancer to a white supremacist, and another that is a stay at home Mom taking care of her five young children.

Today I had to question one of my students about why her assignments were being turned in late. She told me about taking in her sister’s one year old daughter. The sister is a drug addict. The little baby girl had not eaten in three days. The baby also had a diaper rash that looked like second degree burns.

I just finished two helping of meat loaf and potatoes. Last week I was complaining about being on a liquid diet for 24 hours.

I also know about a little girl that just had one of her ear drums rebuilt. She is going to have the other ear drum rebuilt soon. When I asked the foster mother how that happened I was met with silence. From her eyes I knew what happened to this little girl that could not defend herself.

I wear $6000 hearing aids.

Last week I was complaining that my hand hurt where they stuck me with an I.V.

A few weeks ago I complained about some capitalist Buddhist guy that came up with a great marketing scheme.

A few weeks ago I questioned a Buddhist teacher who told us to question him more if we agreed with him than if we did not agree with him. When I did I was guilty of some law about right speech.

Two weeks ago I was lost because Free was out of town visiting his sister that has been diagnosed with cancer and other family members. I was more understanding this time than other times when Free left to visit family but still absorbed all the sympathy of friends that felt sorry for me being alone.

I took two of my dogs to the vet Saturday for a checkup and spent $336 with more yet to buy.

The swamp cooler is leaking water on the roof and it is starting to get hot.

I have time to reflect on two little girls that need help. Neither of these girls asked for these problems. Neither of these girls would find my problems as anything important. Thank you God, for giving these two little girls the opportunity to teach me something like no one else has yet this week.

I know I will soon forget what these two little girls have taught me. I will go back to bitching about why it is important to shave your head to show respect for someone that has been dead for a couple thousand years but for today I just felt angry, deluded, defiant, poisonous, self-righteous, and incoherent and wanted to rant.