you will never know

he said let’s move to pennsylvania.

we got a house there and acres of

forest to hide in. across the road is

the little brokenstraw where we can

fish and skinny dip. they used to stock

it with trout. he knew i had a thing

for amish boys so he told me about

them too. that made me prick up my

ears. he knew how to get me

interested. phoenix was hot and

getting crazy. to many unimportant

people running in the streets.

unimportant people causing wars.

they steal from poor people. kill

people for reasons to kill people. i

chased all the wild horses i needed to

chase. was tired of looking for shade

under a saguaro cactus. if i was a

poet for all seasons i need all of

winter, all of summer, spring, and fall.

trees letting go of their leaves, every

tiny snowflake having its own smile, a

spring chorus of peepers, laying belly

up in kentucky bluegrass counting

faces in a night sky. it would mean

saying goodbye to kelly. she is blond

magic that makes me feel important.

allowed my poetic license. we drove

four or five days, stopping in omaha

to see his friend, diane. back to the

place i left twelve years ago. where i

drank scotch and water from quart

pickle jars. i sacrificed poems i lost

cause i didn’t write ‘em down. poems

not worth the time i wasted thinking i

was a bohemian. a prophet of the

queer underground. a sassy twink

growing old. now i feed the bluejays

and the hawks. scrape ice from

cracked glass and dance like a

pennsylvania hermit writing poetry.

One thought on “you will never know”

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