my empty pages

i reminisce of my empty pages.
i sat in rooms of second
hand smoke and watched
people being what people are.
scarlet letter misfits, pathetic
pit bulls, sacrilegious believers,
quick-witted queers, and
tattooed executioners. for them
i was king of kings, a ruler of back
alley poetry. a messiah of
masturbating rhymers searching
for visions in swollen cleavage.

i was a bone-dry transient escaping
torrential rain. i crawled deep
into the darkness of desolate wells
and rested there in the lap of elijah.
he commanded ravens to feed me
organic flesh. when my belly was full
i was given back to those bound in
self slaughter. one by one they sang,
it is ok to be no more
it is ok to be no more
it is ok to be no more.

we floated high on sacramental
wine and healed ourselves with
euphoric verse. the season
changed our masquerade for
festive occasions. we rode on the
wings of cyclones and crawled down
gravel roads. our consequences
left some dead or dying. my
ears would hear their harmony,
it is ok to be no more,
it is ok to be no more.

the name of the game tumbled in my
brain. i dressed myself in lemon grass,
and saluted my comrades before we
crippled our critics for being critics.
they boast of knowing the most noble
cortesan whores. did they ask if i was
adonis resurrected by aphrodite?
was i the choice harlot of the archangel?
we defeated the dragon. i wore fur of the
cadavers on the appian way. i shouted:
“more! please, master”
when he fingered me in the anus. diablo
left me at the altar. buddha fucked me.
my favorite dog has died many times.
i watched butterflies living outside
the law. they taught me how to kiss
before i had lips. i drank water from
the cherith brook. i have been easily
distracted, disgraced by past pathetic
lovers. they offered me gold and silver,
pearls and turquoise. i desired an empty
hour glass. i have survived the revolution
of my spirit and the desolation of my soul.
when i melt into ash, read my empty pages,
it is ok to be no more,
it is ok to be no more,
it is ok to be no more.

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